Foreword by Mary Burch. Ph.D. , ix

Acknowledgements , xv

I. Introduction….…...…………………………...………1

Ten Truths, 3

The Family, 7

If I Am the Singer, You Are the Song, 8  

II. Rules, Roles and Boundaries……..…….……….11

Generational Patterns and Rules, 22

Rules for Dogs, 24

Rules that Harm Dogs, 25

Rules that Determine Role, 26

Rules about Dog Training, 27

Rules about Managing Dogs, 28

Rules and Responsibilities to Society, 30

III. Triangles in Family Systems……….....…...……33

Typical Triangles, 40

Role of Anxiety in Triangulation, 46

Summary, 54 

IV. The Family Lifecylce……………………...……….55

Single Young Adult, 61

The Young Couple, 63

Families with Young Children, 68

Families with Adolescents, 72

Launching Children and Moving On, 75

Families in Later Life. 80

 V. Influencing Change…………………..……………83

Joining, 91

Goal-Directed Interventions, 94

Focus and Separation Anxiety, 95

Reframing, 102

Enactment, 105

Interviews: Who to Include, 108

Triangulation and Cherry-Picking, 110

Intensity, 113

Boundary-Making and Unbalancing, 116

VI. Person of the Behavior Consultant………….121

The Truth about Positive Regard and Differences, 121

Personal Growth, 125

Use of Self: Empathy and Self-Awareness, 130

Values and Value Differences, 136

How We Err, 137

Social Change and Triangulation, 142

Appendix A: Study Questions , 147

Appendix B: Collaborative Healthcare Model , 153

Appendix C: Web Resources , 155

Glossary , 159

References and Suggested Reading , 163

Index , 167